Five Pounds

Our days in the NICU are coming to an end.

About ten weeks ago my water broke.
Ten days later and my world being ripped out from underneath my feet, I went into labor.
Three days after leaving the hospital, Hamza went to Utah with my mom for almost a month.

Slowly but surely, everything started coming back together and we are nearing the end to our days in the NICU. We still don't know exactly what day but it is looking like early next week.
He has been taking all of his meals from a bottle for the past few days. He has reached the 5lb mark and grown out of his preemie clothes! His Oxygen flow is at .1 and he is doing so well with it that they might try taking him off completely! If not, we are set up at home for him to be on Oxygen.
The last week has been filled with conversations about him coming home. What doctors he will need to visit. The home nurse that will come to see him twice a week for the next three weeks. His room has his bedding all ready for him and will finally be painted green on Wednesday. The Pack N' Play is next to our bed, next to the 4 foot tall Oxygen tank, next to the apnea monitor. The bottles are all washed and ready to be used, sitting on the counter next to the pacifiers. I made room for the newborn sized clothes, preemie diapers and swaddle blankets.

I keep thinking back to the day I saw the family next to us holding their baby and how much it broke my heart and soul not to be able to hold mine. I remember leaving the hospital without Faris and thinking that this day would never come. That is seemed so far away.
It feels so strange to be the family bringing in the car seat to do the car seat test with him. I want to tell the other mom's there that I understand how hard it is to see a mom getting ready to leave with her baby but that their day will come too, I promise. I want to hug the new mom's who are just starting their journey in the NICU and tell them I know how they feel and it gets better.

I can't wait to hear the cries in the night. The 3 AM feedings and diaper changes. I am so excited to see what Hamza is going to do when he finally realizes that the little squeaky things is here to stay. I can't wait to give him a bath at home and read a book before bed as a family.

I can't wait to feel like a mom of two little boys.