I wish...

I wish I could do all of this for you.

I wish I could be inside the Isolette away from home and the comfort of mommy & daddy. I wish I could do every test for you, the heel pricks almost every day, the breathing machine with all of the straps around your tiny little head. I would do every blood pressure check, the IVs, the blood transfusions, the feeding tube.. I would do it all for you if I could.

I know it can't be easy in there for you because it's not easy for us to have you there instead of home. There are some days that I can't hold you because your tiny little body just can't handle it. You will never quite know how much my heart aches on those days when all I can do it touch you through the sides of your bed.  I have to remind myself that you don't know what is going on and you won't remember it.

I can't wait to get you home and watch you grow up and learn new things, play with your brother and just spend time with you. I will look back on the day that you were just a tiny 2lbs, 7 oz and wonder where the time went when you are standing taller than me and have your own children. I will look back on the day that you needed the CPAP and Oxygen in wonderment as you run around and play outside. When you take your first steps, I will remember when Daddy's wedding band fit around your wrist with plenty of room to spare.

And when the time comes to finally bring you home, our family will again be whole.