Is It Thursday Yet??

My arms are aching for my boys.

I never for a second thought I would leave the hospital without my baby, as I am sure most parents wouldn't. Nor did I think that after coming home, my two year old would be on his way to Utah for over three weeks. I catch myself day dreaming about Thursday afternoon. The drive to the airport seems entirely too far away and today is going by as just as slow. 

I do not know what I am going to do when I see Hamza. I have only seen him a handful of times in the last six weeks. My mom has been great with sending pictures and videos but it is just not the same as the real Hamza. I don't think I have ever been this excited to clean up toys, change diapers and do more laundry. I've found myself just looking at his room and wondering what it will look like to have him sleeping and playing in there again.

Then I look at Faris' room and realize that it's going to be even longer before that baby boy is home. (And that we really need to paint his room because it's magenta and the kid has been through enough already.) I wonder what it will be like to see him at home and in his crib without all of the alarms in the NICU going off. I wonder what Hamza will think of him or if he will even care that Faris is here. I wonder what it will feel like to have both of my boys at home, giving them baths at night and reading them stories before bed.

Faris is doing so well in the NICU. He is now 3lbs, 8oz & 17 1/2 inches long! His PICC line was taken out on Sunday night and he was finally able to wear clothes on Monday! He is learning to regulate his own temperature so his bed is no longer in charge of keeping him warm. By the end of this week, he will be off of the CPAP and either onto the nasal canula or just on his own. Once he does that, we will be able to try regular mouth feedings.

My boys continue to amaze me every day no matter what they are doing or where they are. I am so proud and blessed to be the mom of two such wonderful little creatures. I kept asking myself how I could love another little boy as much as Hamza and now I couldn't imagine only having one.